Wednesday, February 26, 2014

Love Letters: Samuel Brave

Sometimes your life can be impacted by a life-changing, heart-stopping miracle; and sometimes those miracles can get lost in the common hours of diaper changing and getting dinner on the table. May this serve as a reminder to treasure the miracles in your life, and as hope if you're still waiting for your miracle.

The very One who created and designed you says to delight yourself in Him and He will give you the desires of your heart. That's what God told me. He said I wouldn't have to do anything, because He was going to do it. He was going to personally fulfill my heart's deepest desire. It's hard to hold on to that when years have passed and the Heavens are silent. In those heart-wrenching moments, God was teaching me to relish the Giver above the gift I was seeking. Enjoy Him. Enjoy that He is a good Father who loves to give good gifts to His kids.

What was this gift I was asking for? A son. My heart was longing for a son. We already had three precious children, Kaleb, Gabriella, and Sophia. How could I ask for more? But somehow God had given me this heart's desire. This impossible wish. My husband, Ben, had suffered horrible injuries in a motorcycle accident years earlier and due to complications from this, having more children would take a miracle. But there it was, we both felt this promise in our hearts that a son would come. God had planted this deep longing for a baby boy and He gave us the name Samuel. It means "Asked of God" and "God has Heard". So ask we did. God says you have not because you ask not. So we asked, and pleaded, and begged, and asked some more.

Sometimes it is darkest just before the dawn. At one of these extremely dark points, God spoke to me. In the middle of doubting whether I had truly heard from Him, if He was really going to do what He said, or if it was just all me, I had a dream. God doesn't normally speak to me in dreams, but it was apparent that this was something He was doing. In my dream, a little blond boy came up to me and handed me a yellow construction paper card with Elmer's glue, gold glittery letters that said "Don't give up on the impossible." My heart stopped. God had heard my desperate heart-felt pleas that I thought had, at times, bounced off the ceiling. With Him, all things are possible. God was doing this, I just had no idea how.

Well like God said, I didn't have to do anything. Ben and I are pastors, and through a series of events, we met two of our heroes. Hannah, six months pregnant, and Joshua were ready to put their baby up for adoption. We immediately began all of the paperwork and meeting with the adoption agency because, by some kiss from Heaven, they had chosen us to be their baby's parents. Their words to us: "You guys are the family God has been especially preparing for our child." Wow!

We obviously knew that cost was involved with adoption. In one particular meeting with the agency, they went over and detailed all of the financials, and then they dropped the bomb. We would pay all the costs and then should the birth mom change her mind, we would not get the money back. We would pay everything and may walk away with nothing. The car ride home was silent. It felt as though we had been punched in the gut and that the hope was going out of our dream. We were in despair for a day or two and then one morning the Lord woke me very early. Jesus' words echoed so loudly in my heart, "I paid the price for you, with no guarantee that I'd get your heart." That was costly love poured out upon that cross. He paid the ultimate price. And it was then that I realized, I too am adopted. God says that He picked us out for Himself before the foundation of the world. He calls us sons and daughters. How could I not love like He did? How could I not give, and possibly get nothing in return? We knew what we were to do.

Along with meetings at the agency, we met with Hannah and Joshua. They knew our heart for adoption and that we had prayed for this baby, but they did not know the name the Lord had given us. At one point Hannah shared, "Of course you can name the baby whatever you want, but we really feel like his name is supposed to be Samuel." Tears streamed down my face, and Ben was speechless. God had ordained this whole thing!

God has the best for us if we're willing to wait for His timing. He has put those desires in our heart, not to withhold them, but because He wants to fulfill them.

Samuel was born December 7th at 7:03 a.m. weighing 7 lbs, 2 ounces and was just perfect. He was completely worth the wait. God had heard. If He can do it for me, He can do it for you. No heart-wrenching longing is too big for Him to fulfill. He sees you. He knows. And He is a good Daddy who wants to give.

Samuel Brave you are our promise, our fulfillment, our son.

"Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" Matthew 7:9-11

- Holly Binger

Note from Kassi: Holly and Ben Binger are pastors at my family's church back home in CO.  When my mom told me this story I was just blown away.  I asked Holly for permission to share a few more details that I think make this story even more amazing.

She mentioned Hannah and Joshua, Sam's biological parents.  They didn't just get randomly matched up with these two people at the adoption agency.  Hannah's mom had called the church the Bingers work at for prayer on a completely different matter.  While talking to the church receptionist it happened to come out that her daughter was going to an adoption agency that very day.  As soon as the receptionist got off the phone with Sam's biological grandma, Holly walked through the doors.  The receptionist, knowing only recently of Holly's dream of adopting, told her all about it.  Holly was floored by the fact that this mom's name was Hannah, who in the bible gave up Samuel for adoption.  And here she was hoping and praying and believing for a Samuel of her own.  She called the grandma back immediately, and that's how they ended up meeting Hannah and Joshua, and eventually their little Samuel.

As Holly said, through Him all things are possible.  He hears us and answers us.  Sometimes that answer is no, sometimes it's yes and sometimes it's just wait.  But if this story doesn't give you hope for whatever is going on in your life, I don't know what does.

Thank you, Holly, for sharing this beautiful story!

Also, how cool is the middle name Brave?  Kicking myself for not thinking of that on my own!  ;)

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